As the lady of the house, the kitchen is primarily my domain. My SO (male) does not like to grocery shop except for going to the butcher to pick out steaks, where he can also complain about the success or failure of the local sports teams. He grills several times a week during the summer, and when he does, I am the sous chef.
I actually enjoy planning, shopping and preparing the food and don’t always want the company in the kitchen, so when he isn’t grilling then I am the one doing the cooking. I also like the pantry stocked in a specific way, and am happy to take on this task. SO is the official cocktail maker, so trips to the liquor store fall to him.
He takes care of the cars and any household repairs, I do the majority of the cleaning and laundry, and expenses are shared proportionate to our incomes. (Though there are times when he is extra generous, especially if we have guests or go out to eat).
As @linguafood mentioned above, teamwork and communication are key in any relationship. How to split up tasks and expenses was agreed to before we moved in together. I also made it abundantly clear that any damage he caused to the Le Creuset would require a full replacement as well as a bouquet of roses. 
Planning/shopping - joint effort
Chopping/cooking/plating/serving - depends on what’s for dinner. Most times, it’s a joint effort (although I tend to do most of the chopping, whilst J does more of the skilful stuff). Some dishes, I do everything. Some dishes, J does everything
Clearing/cleaning - joint effort.
Benefit of both being retired is that we don’t have time pressure over dinner stuff
Cho
Completely valid. 
In my home I do most of the planning, shopping and cooking. My partner will help if I ask, but I am usually the one who notices what needs to be done and when. The mental load is the part that takes the most time.
I do 99 percent of the planning, shopping, prepping, cooking, clearing and pantry, fridge & freezer organization.
My DCs do around 75 percent of the dishwashing.
I do nearly all of it. I shop. I cook. Mrs. ricepad helps clear dishes. I load the dishwasher. I wash. Mrs. ricepad (usually, but not always) puts away the stuff I’ve handwashed. I empty the dishwasher (four out of five times). I’m the keeper of the shopping lists (grocery and Costco). If she wants something added to the list, she tells me.
Mrs. ricepad thinks of shopping and cooking as chores that need to be done. I, OTOH, enjoy shopping and love cooking. I kind of ‘zen out’ when I’m handwashing dishes. Hence, the division of labor is pretty easy in that regard. As for cleaning up, I don’t really like putting stuff away, so Mrs. ricepad tends to do that.
Mrs. ricepad does like to cook some things, mostly foods from her childhood. Her meatloaf, for instance. Not only does she like to make it, she defends the recipe as if it were delivered from on high. I made the mistake of offering a simple suggestion to improve it, and was figuratively kicked in the 'nads for it. But she only gets the urge to cook about once every five or six months, so it falls to me to do the rest of the cooking.
I also do all the canning, but she does a lot of the dehydrating (apples and persimmons, mostly).
My mom married a man who was nearly helpless in the kitchen - Dad knew how to make exactly two things when they got married (one of them just involved opening up two cans!) - and she swore that her sons would be able to prepare basic meals and clean up. My brother and I took turns on alternating Sundays planning a meal, shopping for it, and then cooking it. Mom gave us a budget of $5 and took us shopping, and she actually managed to stay out of the kitchen and out of our way while we each cooked. She only got involved when we asked for help, which was almost never, although she said it was hell for her to sit on the sidelines and keep her mouth shut!
Do you make another meatloaf in the months that Mrs Ricepad isn’t making hers? Or is her meatloaf the only one that gets made, when she wants to make it?
We don’t make meatloaf at home One DC has thoughts on what makes a proper meatball, and doesn’t usually seem to enjoy the variations that stray from a Greek or Cypriot keftede. I get tired of Greek meatballs so I’ve been trying a lot of other meatballs this year. I think I’ll start alternating, making non-Greek meatballs one week and Greek meatballs the following week.
I dare not make another meatloaf! I did once, using my suggestion (burying a hot link in the middle after liberally piercing it with a fork), and was figuratively kicked in the 'nads over that, too. We have her meatloaf, or none at all. It’s not bad, and probably the second best meatloaf I’ve ever had (I liked my way better), so it’s no big deal. It’s a vast improvement over my mom’s meatloaf, though, so it’s easy to like.
My wife and I split the cooking duties, depending on who has free time. Except for a couple of dishes that I’ve made a bazillion times, everything I make is from a recipe, while she generally just goes by instinct (which usually works). Both of us tend to make things that’ll last for at least 2 meals. I usually do more of the baking/desserts except when it’s something from her cultural heritage.
As for the shopping, she’ll get the meat/fish/produce because she knows what she’s looking for, while I’ll get the groceries because I know what I’m looking for and therefore take time to read the labels (e.g., so we don’t end up with bread that has 5 grams of sugar per slice).
Sounds like the perfect division of labor. Our HOs are hella organized 
I don’t think of it as heavy lifting; I think of it as how responsibilities play out. BF can cook, but it’s not his preference. If I come home and am too tired to cook, one or the other of us picks up the tab on delivery. We split duties on groceries, although if he isn’t available to drive, I generally get it delivered. I clean up after myself when I cook, because I am a control freak about how the kitchen is cleaned. We both clear the table, but I have often been known to rearrange the dishwasher after he puts items in.
On the flip side, he keeps the home automation updated, generally is home for things that involve deliveries or maintenance, and brings Parker to the vet. It all works out.
I have learned that it is an easier life if I don’t do that. Hell hath no fury than a woman criticised for her dishwasher stacking. It took several years for me to learn that lesson.
I was made the dishwasher loader at about age 14 because I was getting antsy at the way my Mom was loading the Thanksgiving dishes, serving dishes and utensils, and some pots and pans. I pulled out the majority of the bottom shelf and rearranged and fit in a LOT more. Mom looked at it and then me and said “That’s your job now.” Oh, shoot. Didn’t mean to do that. LOL
No good deed goes unpunished!
I do it all the time 
Considering men are supposed to have these brilliant spatial skills, I’m surprised mine can’t find items in the fridge that are literally front and center 
I, too, am guilty of this, but for what I think is a valid reason. Since I’m the meal planner, I know what dishes will likely be used in the next few days leading up to the next Running of the Dishwasher. (There’s only the two of us, and it sometimes goes a full week between runnings.) Hence, I have a better idea of the most efficient way to load it. Some of our bowls and plates only really fit efficiently in one area, where others can go in multiple spots. Knowing what will be in play tomorrow or the next day gives me an advantage at loading the machine most efficiently.
Both Mrs. ricepad and my mom share a skill I do not have: they can both pack things with a surprising efficiency. A car trunk, an ice chest, cupboards, moving boxes…it doesn’t matter. They both know how to get the most of any space. I need at least 20% more space to find places for everything.
I used to play a lot of Tetris in boring office jobs, so maybe that’s how I learned…
I do recall some bickering between my parents around this very issue! In our household, himself has learned not to take it personally. Jokes are cracked, but all is well after.
Levity and not being butt-hurt about minor ribbing/ballbusting are important ingredients for a healthy relationship.
A sense of humor helps a lot, too. In any relationship, romantic or platonic.
